3 Ways Motherhood Helps You Reach Your Highest Potential

The Expectation

There are endless people and resources that will tell you all the joys about motherhood. There are also many stories of tragedy and hardship around motherhood. However, there aren’t many people talking about how motherhood can be the ultimate test in your seeking journey and cultivation. Although, this post will only focus on 3 attributes contributing to this, there are plenty more to be discussed.

Before I became a mother, I thought I was the one who had it figured out. I thought, “I got this”—I had a university degree which focused mostly on developmental psychology. I also grew up with a sibling 8 years younger than I, who I took care of often. In my early teens to my 20-somethings, I taught at a kids’ camp, babysat many children, and lived with my now husband’s niece and 2 nephews for a couple years. So needless to say, yes, I am good with other peoples’ kids. However, I didn’t realize this may not translate into being a perfect mother of an infant.

The first year of my daughter’s life was one of the hardest of mine. Pretty sure she was colicky (or had some other issue going on that, I still can’t pinpoint today), and I actually didn’t have that much experience with infants. Or, experience with many, many, many sleepless nights in a row. Nothing can really prepare you for the exhaustion that may come with motherhood. You literally feel like you are going crazy, and I believe, I had my moments.

Before I continue to list some great benefits of being a mother, I am going to share the first poem, of many, I wrote during my darkest days (that I hope someday will translate into a song). This is for all the mothers out there (especially the first-timers raising an infant):

A Poem: “Needed to Crawl”

In all my 30 years, I could not predict

What was coming, what I would feel

How beautifully difficult it is

 

Only a few can understand

The pain

The confusion

The sadness

 

All in all, it began small, small, small

All in all, it ended up, I also needed to crawl, crawl, crawl

 

In all my experience, I was wrong

What it would be

What she would feel

How incredibly crazy it is

 

Only a few can understand

The joy

The rewards

The triumphs

 

All in all, it began small, small, small

All in all, it ended up, I also needed to crawl, crawl, crawl

 

The secret is out, I’m letting you know

How it can be, the battlefield

of the greatest love, you will ever feel

 

Only a few can really understand

The love

The love

The love

 

All in all, it began small, small, small

All in all, it ended up, I also needed to crawl, crawl, crawl

The 3 Ways

This poems actually describes all 3 ways motherhood can help in your seeking journey and, help you reach your greatest potential:

• Makes You Look At Your Shadows:  You cannot get through motherhood, especially if you end up having those many sleepless nights, without seeing your demons come out. This can be in many forms such as; crying a lot, yelling, fantasies of murdering your husband (I joke, but this could be true). Whatever your demons are, they are actually there for a purpose. For example, I didn’t realize I still had many issues with my parents, until I had a child. I thought I did my work around that and had forgiven them, etc.  Motherhood allowed me to take a really good look at my issues and actually heal them this time. One of my ways was through writing poetry and free-flow writing, which allows you to just write everything that you’re thinking (no editing allowed).  I highly recommend these methods because the poetry—which is a creative outlet—is catharsis and allows you to express things in a unique way. The other allows you to get all the junk out of your head so you can read it back and be aware of the crazy you may be creating (in a loving way of course). This awareness allows you to be more present and work towards more helpful thought patterns.

• Humbles You:  As I write in the poem, I realized I was not perfect and there is no perfect!  We are just doing the best we can, and our best, yes, still may screw our child up a bit, but they will survive and be OK. In our quest to be the best, we fall sometimes and be the worst. This may sound like a bad thing but it is not. It makes you human. I am not saying we should all stop trying, but we should continue to do so with love and compassion for ourselves and our children. Stop expecting perfection—it’s just not going to happen. After all, if everyone was perfect, it would be kind of boring right? So just laugh at yourself, lighten up, be real ,and yes, still seek the perfect imperfection, that is the unique and beautiful you.  Also, with this humbling, we remove ourselves from our ego which always has great benefits for our well-being and others.

• Allows For the Highest Love To Be Reached:  Honestly, before my child, I don’t think I really knew what love was. I did love people, even in an unconditional sense, but it wasn’t the same love I had for my daughter. The love I discovered is eternal, always present and the most unconditional you could imagine. Even in moments she may drive me crazy, on my best days, I can take a step back and smile at the fact I still think she is the best thing in this world. I remember again the overflowing love I have for her; and that everyone deserves this love. It made me a better person because now I strive to love everyone from that place, including myself. They say you can’t love anyone until you really love yourself. But, I believe this means we can’t learn to express our love in a healthy manner if we haven’t learned to do so for ourselves. Loving my daughter has made me really look at my patterns of loving myself and others and realized how incomplete they were. I am still not fully there but, I hope every day I become a better mom and person, in striving to embody this love.

As I stated earlier, motherhood has many great benefits. However, it is a decision to not be taken lightheartedly. Ultimately, deciding to be a mother, should be with the same intention as starting a charity. It should be about contributing to the community and world. And that you do everything you can to raise a healthy person, because in the end, our world is made up of individuals, and if all these individuals were happy and healthy—what an amazing place it would be!  The place to start though, is with you. The best thing you can do for your child is to love you, heal you, and be an amazing example of growth.

What has been the greatest gift motherhood has given you? Or, what were your “crazy” moments that has taught you about life? Please let me know in the comments below—I would love to hear your thoughts. Also, if you would like help in your journey to be perfectly imperfect, sign up to the newsletter for more sensi-seeking strategies.