Making the Best of It: How to Feel Good Even When it’s Bad

Taking Control

My life has not always been kittens and rainbows, nor is it now. However, my ability to make it at least feel that way over and over after difficult times has gotten quite impressive.  It is very liberating to actually feel somewhat in control of your life. Not, in a dictatorship-type way, but in a way that says, “Yes, I can make a difference”. You can’t control people or situations but you CAN control yourself and how you positively influence people and situations.

Life seems to always throw some hard balls our way but, it is how we receive them is what really counts.   No matter what the situation is, you can always make the best of it. Even if you have to wait until the situation is over to make the “best of it”, then so it is.

Even during the most dreadful times- for instance, being abused in some way- we can at least take a lesson away from it. You may have to dig really deep but trust me- it’s there. For example, you may need to stick up for yourself to teach people how to treat you better.  That way people will be less likely to attack you. This might seem extremely difficult to do but keep in mind, that no matter what the situation is, it will be much worse in the future if you only take the negative.

The Self-Created Bad “Situation”

Often we feel like something is happening TO us. That the circumstances around us are making us feel bad. But sometimes the scariest place to be is when you feel really crappy and can’t pinpoint why. You can’t say to people “well, such and such just happened so that is why I am in a bad mood.”

When you don’t have an excuse, it can be even more dangerous if you don’t know how to deal with it. This is because you can get stuck in the “beating yourself up” loop: Where you feel bad, for feeling bad!

This could be happening for several reasons and one serious reason is being depressed. If you suspect this at all, I strongly advise you to seek the counsel of your choice. There is no shame in this. The people that care about you much rather see you seek help then go down a dangerous path of self-destruction. You matter and your life matters!!

The Reason You May Not Suspect

Although, some people may go straight to the “oh, there must be something physically wrong with me” stage and blame their bad moods on hormones, etc. I want you to hear me out for a minute or so.

I have another possibility that is rarely talked about. This is regarding the ability to take on negative energy. If you consider yourself an “empath” or HSP (highly sensitive person) you already will be aware of this. It is when “bad” things are happening around you and you take on the negative energy from it- you somehow make it your own. Or, this can happen when people that are carrying negative energy and unintentionally dump it on you.

As a possible empath, it may actually be in your destiny to use this ability to help heal others. However, if you are not being paid for a healing service, it is in no way, shape or form, your responsibility to deal with this negative energy.

So what can you do about it? Well, there are several things (some of which I discuss below) but one of my favourite and simple tools to deal with this specific type of negative energy is stating an affirmation. For example, something like the following: “I send this energy (that is not mine) back to its source, for the benefit of the highest good.”

To incorporate this in the most effective way first put your hand on your heart and take a few deep breathes and say this statement (silently and several times if needed) every time you feel like you are carrying a lot of “baggage” that isn’t yours.

The Dark Vacuum

I also want to reiterate the fact that by only focusing on the negative and letting the negative take over you, dark energy is created around you, and if only darkness is in your energy, it will be more difficult for the light energy to find you.

By making the best of it and trying to find something positive out of a situation, you are encouraging the light to be created and for more of it to be attracted to you and your energy field.  Over time, you will be more of a magnet for this positive and light energy, rather than the negative and heavy energy.

In times when it is difficult to find something positive, think of something that is very basic to be thankful for, like the fact you are still alive. Even just focusing on this and allowing the gratitude to grow, you will be able to open your heart to a loving energy which will encompass you instead.  Doing a short meditation by visioning what this positive energy would look like in detail (colour, texture, and temperature) will increase this positive impact even more.

Allowing the Light In

Some other ways that can help you make the best of it in bad situations would be to ask yourself the following questions and then appreciate the answers;

• Could it be worse? This first question is to put things in perspective. For example, if your situation is not being a starving child in a war-ridden country with no parents (or something equally or much worse) then the answer should always be “YES, it could be worse”.
• What can I learn from this? This question is to get you to reflect on how you can make it better next time or choose to not have a next time.  Also, this is so that you feel like you “get” something out of the circumstance.
• What aspects of this situation are humorous? This can also change your perspective and help you learn to laugh at yourself or, understand how ridiculous other people can be and not take offense.
• Can I make it better? Empower yourself by creating solutions. Instead of using up your energy on complaining about the situation; use this opportunity to create something of value.  If there really is nothing you can do, besides asking yourself these questions, then say the following: “Even though there is nothing I can personally do to change this situation right now, I lovingly accept myself and what IS. I will allow myself and others to be at peace, and by doing so, at the very least, I will not make the situation worse”. You may not realize but even doing this IS doing something to make it better! 
• Am I still alive? This last question is usually for the extra difficult situation as I discussed earlier to help you reach for something that you can be grateful for.

Get Out of Resistance

You may notice that even before you review these questions you will have a lot of resistance come up. Meaning, your mind will start playing games with you, and tell you to not bother because your situation is so bad, there can’t possibly be good in it. This happens because our minds are hard-wired with many negative thinking habits that keep us stuck.

To get out of this resistance try the following steps:

• Say “STOP” silently in your mind: Saying this will help stop the habitual mind chatter.
• Redirect its focus: Take a deep breath and allow your mind calm. Focus on this breathe intently.
• Remember these are just THOUGHTS: They are not the real They are your ego- wanting to keep you stuck so it can feel safe. But your real self, knows better: that it is safe to let go, and that it is actually MORE beneficial to change these negative thought patterns, then it is to leave them as is.
• Help your mind create a new, more positive habit: Go through the first sequence of questions above.

Ask For Help

If you are still having difficulty making the best of a situation by going through these steps, it could be mean they you need assistance through practices such as Energy Therapy. Energy Therapy can help release the energy around these thought patterns.  Also, it would help greatly in creating new, more positive habits, and therefore create better situations in the future. To see more information about my Energy Therapy and Coaching Services, please visit the “At Your Service” pages.

Bonus Tip: Always a Choice

A very crucial point in helping you to get a place where you are making the best out of every situation is by shifting your perspective. From believing that there is no way out of your “bad” situation to realizing you have the power to make the choice to improve it.

One of my favourite movies is “Dangerous Minds” which is about a teacher who inspires her teenage students, despite their lives being surrounded by negativity such as drugs, gangs, poverty, and violence. The quote that has most inspired me was when she told them, “There are no victims in this classroom.” Before she states this she is speaking with the students and trying to convince them that they have a choice to “get on that bus.”  To view the scene, click here.Or, better yet- watch the entire movie!

Stop Being A Victim

I believe the real point she is trying to make here, is that people always fall victim to their own lives by focusing on the negative and giving up hope. Even though it takes a lot of courage to make the “right” choice – it is very rewarding in the end. And unfortunately in order to get to this rewarding place we have to make these difficult choices.

Some people may disagree with me on what I think she is trying to say in this scene but it is something that has stuck with me for years.  Don’t get me wrong, having this philosophy and implementing it into your life is very different and can be a challenge.  But once you make this most important decision, you are choosing to be empowered. And from an empowered state, you can transform your life immensely.

For instance, if one of those students choose to “get on that bus” by working hard in school, getting good grades, then getting a scholarship to a college, then attending that college, then choosing to find a career that will fulfill them- they would then be able to live in a safe neighbourhood, support a family, travel or whatever their heart desires.  Sounds easy, right? Well, of course, it is much easier said than done but as I stated before it would be worth it.

Dissolving the Clouds

Sometimes when we are facing a challenge or multiple challenges our judgment can be clouded and we end up making the “wrong” choice or the one that is not best for us. One of the first steps in getting your mind and spirit into this clear place is practicing activities that will allow for healing. Once the gunk is removed from your psyche and energy field- the right choice will be clear as day.

As mentioned above the clarity questions can help with this. But also, certain tools, such as EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) can make a huge difference in getting you back on track. If you would like to learn how to do this for yourself, be sure to download my free gift, “The Ultimate Guide to Emotional Freedom” where you learn how to release any negative thought pattern, and rewire your brain to believe something more positive.

Or, another very helpful tool would be the “Express Energy Healing Guide” that implements EFT and Chakra healing which benefits the mind, body, and soul on all aspects. It works on each chakra to help you release the negative energy that fuels those unhelpful thought habits.

Be sure to comment below and let me know what your unique struggles are with “making the best of it”. I would also love to hear your thoughts and/or feedback on the exercises above!