Energy Therapy

Overwhelming Feelings as an Empath? 3 Easy Solutions

September 20, 2023
Energy Therapy Mental Well-being Personal Development

Solutions to Overwhelm for Empaths

Last week I came face to face AGAIN with one of the most difficult struggles of my life. No, this was not an external event, however, an internal one driven by an array of external forces.

On my girls’ first day back to school, I spent the day having crying spells and anxiety attacks, going through a rollercoaster of emotions. I felt everything in the book that day, from excitement to hopelessness.

I was overwhelmed by several changes that were happening or going to happen soon. As usual, my brain likes to dump everything on me all at once in one day. Leaving me having to deal with ALL my issues at one time which is just not possible! Hence, the anxiety attacks!

Eventually, I was able to be at peace with what is and move forward in actions that would benefit future situations. In the past, it may have taken me a few days to get out of that state, but within a few hours, I could be calm enough to move on.

You may be asking yourself, “But, HOW?” Well, it is probably simpler than you realize. Let’s break it down…

3 Root Causes of Overwhelm

1. Taking On What Isn’t Ours

First, let us dive into why as an empath this overwhelm happens so often. One of the reasons may be because we feel and sense others’ energy and tend to “take on” that energy. For instance, in the day I was speaking of, I may have been taking on my daughters’ worries as well. Also, this can also be referring to taking on others’ responsibilities. Which causes us extra stress.

2. Feeling Guilty and/or Shame

Another reason is that we can feel guilt or shame for our feelings because we are aware of how it affects others around us and can see the damage it is causing, making them more intense. An example of this may be losing your patience with loved ones because of your internal emotional turmoil.  Or, we can simply feel guilty for having feelings because at some point someone taught us it wasn’t okay, or weak, etc.

3. Avoiding the Present/Negative Thought Habits

At some point in my journey, I read a quote from Lao Tzu, who said,

“If you’re depressed, you’re living in the past. If you’re anxious, you’re living in the future. If you’re at peace, you’re living in the present.”

Basically, in steering ourselves AWAY from the present, we are causing issues for ourselves in the present and, by default the future as well. Our emotional overwhelm that we battle with is often caused by focusing too much on the past or what is going to happen in the future.

Thought habits that do this steering, like; worrying, replaying the past, doomsday thinking, jumping to conclusions, criticizing, “should” statements, etc. always come up in both of those scenarios AND are often the root cause of the overwhelm.

In this state of overwhelm, it can often feel like a tsunami crashing upon our lives and therefore, it can feel a bit hopeless, as if we will never get out of it.

However, today in this post, I am going to give you some tools to equip yourself, so that the next time you are faced with these overwhelming feelings you can navigate it! Remember, in the ocean of overwhelm, you CAN find your island of calm! No matter how daunting it may seem.

If you feel in particular these negative thought patterns have got the best of you, consider EFT (emotional freedom technique), where we create tapping scripts on your unique thought habits and RELEASE them from your psyche and energy field!

To resolve your overwhelm in a specific moment, let’s break it down into 3 Steps, in which each step is based on the three root causes of the overwhelm, discussed above.

Finding Peace in Overwhelming Feelings

3 Quick Steps to Finding Your Island of Peace

1. Remove the Burden of Others

First, let’s identify if the reason for your overwhelming state is coming from others. A quick way to test is, is noticing if your thoughts are focused on others and how they are feeling/thinking.

For example, internal dialogues such as, “I wonder what they are doing right now. I really hope they are ok. Hopefully, Jamie isn’t mean to her again.” Basically, if the thoughts are about how the external is affecting someone ELSE, then that is a big clue.

Because at that point you are empathizing and “tapping in” into their state of emotions or thoughts.  It is very important that we first remove this energy of others, to properly deal with OURS.  Once you notice this, say to yourself,

“I am letting go of others’ karma. It is not my responsibility, but I send them love and well wishes.”
Click To Tweet
Take a deep breath and truly release these feelings. A bonus tip to help release the energy of others is by smudging or doing another cleansing process (mindful shower, etc.)

In regards to taking on others physical responsibilities (doing their chores, etc.), a hard conversation may need to be had in setting your boundaries. Clear expectations and saying NO, when needed will not only relieve your burden, but, it is GOOD for the other person as well, whom will benefit from taking responsibility for their own stuff. 

2. Act of Self-Love and Safety

Next, become aware of the feelings that are left- the ones that are YOURS. Ask yourself, “What could I do right now that would make me feel SAFE?” This is a gentle and loving way of treating yourself. Which is the opposite of creating shame and guilt around your situation.

It will also help prevent your negative feelings from affecting others and stop the blame/shame cycle. Some things you could do are; take space (go to another room), put your hand on your heart and deep breathe, massage your hands or feet, put on calming music, close your eyes and give yourself a hug, get outside for a walk or sit and be present with nature and last but not least is mediation (guided or not). Really, the possibilities are endless but make sure it is something that you really connect with, and you immediately get that sense of calm and safety.

3. Be PRESENT and Dissolve Negative Thoughts

Lastly, probably the toughest issue to tackle is our negative thought habits. Because they are HABITS, we must start to “unlearn” them and provide an alternative habit that is healthy.

To get started on this process, to make it simple, let’s focus on PRESENCE. The best way to prevent emotional overwhelm in the first place is to become more present.The best way to prevent emotional overwhelm in the first place is to become more present. Not dwelling on the past (even if it is 5 minutes ago) or the future. Luckily, our acts of self-love discussed above, do just that! They ground us into the present.

You may find after you do one of those activities, your overwhelming feelings are gone. If they are not, or quickly they are coming back, this just means you must keep practicing presence. Essentially, we are training our minds to NOT continue to go down those paths of destruction.

IF, you tried a couple of things and it is still not working because maybe these feelings are coming from a specific dooming event that will be in your reality soon, then make sure your act of presence is also PRODUCTIVE. It must be an action that helps you move forward with more confidence in the situation. Still not clear? Let’s discuss further below.

Where We Go from Here: Actionable Presence

Sometimes, part of feeling overwhelmed is feeling like we don’t have control over the situation. That we are victims of its inevitable outcome. That’s why sometimes it is harder to shake those overwhelming feelings when it is related to an impending situation (i.e., starting a new job etc.).

If we learn to take steps forward that are rooted in presence as well- it can be even more powerful in helping to minimize those overwhelming feelings.

So, you know the first question to ask is, “What can I do to help myself feel SAFE?” Combine this with the question, “What can I do that would make the upcoming situation better/easier.”

Let’s take the example above, of starting a new job. First, take inventory (write down) your most prevalent worries. Maybe it is not connecting with others/making friends. Or maybe it is learning new skills. Now, put yourself in a state of safety. For example, put your hand on your heart, take 3 deep breaths with your worry in mind, and ask the above question, “What can I do that would make the upcoming situation better/easier.”  Let your intuition, not your “head” guide you.

Link to Course

Listening to your Intuition

Maybe the answer will be that you write down all the things you are excited about instead of worried. Maybe, your intuition nudges you to e-mail your new boss, asking what the first thing is they need from you, or how you can best help. Or, maybe you take a drive and get to know the area, so you don’t worry about traffic/finding a parking spot, and at the same time find a quaint coffee shop you can take your break at.

You will be surprised at the ABUNDANCE of solutions to your “non” problems that exist! And, I say “non” problems with the most love. Promise, I know what it is like to be in that state and feel like the world is ending. But once you practice presence and take true inventory of your worries, you will see you barely have anything to worry about. Or, that those “negative” outcomes are something you CAN handle, and therefore don’t have to worry about it!

Worrying is such a WASTE of energy. And, as empaths, our energy is so precious because we are so sensitive. So, it is important to protect. And one of the best ways to protect it is growing a stronger mentality with presence and connecting to our divine power, wisdom, and intuition.

If you would like to tap more into your power as an empath and build up this strength, I have compiled some of the BEST tools, techniques, and strategies all into one program! Check it out here.

If you would like a 50% discount, be sure to sign up for the newsletter here.

Remember, you are strong enough, worthy enough, and ARE needed!

0 Comments

8 Steps to Spring Clean Your Mind and Manifest Your Desires

March 19, 2018
Energy Therapy Mental Well-being

One of the major roadblocks that stops us from manifesting our desires and dreams, is our negatively conditioned minds. Utilize the energy of spring to learn 8 steps PLUS 5 bonus techniques to clear your limiting beliefs so, you can truly open the doors to new and beautiful possibilities!

The Gifts of Spring

Spring has always been a very important time for me. Some of my most positive experiences and changes in life has happened in the spring. I don’t believe this is just a coincidence.  With every season and every time of the day, week, month, year, the decade or even century, there is a certain energy about it.

I believe that one of the best ways to truly be connected to a higher purpose, we also need to be connected to the Earth. We do so, by going with the natural flow of energy that each day, month, season, etc. presents us with. If we do not, I think great opportunities can be missed.

So what is the energy of spring? What can we cultivate in our lives this time of year that is conducive to the season? Well, for decades spring has been celebrated as a time of renewal, rebirth, fertility, new potential, etc.

For instance, did you know that “the Roman year began on the ides of March (15th)”? (source: http://bit.ly/2DFEx7i) And, that technically, the astrological year begins on the spring equinox, with the sign Aries.  It is no wonder that spring always felt more to me like “New Years” than January 1st!

Making way for New Potential

Looking at the energy of spring and the traditions many different cultures have for this time of year, it makes sense that “spring cleaning” has now become an unwritten tradition for many.

In order for new potential to emerge, the old ways and things (that do not serve us anymore) have to be thrown out. It is very difficult to implement a new habit. As well as, store new stuff when there is too much “junk” in the way. Although it can be done, it is an uphill battle.

Well, I have had an uphill battle waaay too long! Ha! I was fed up with holding myself back from reaching greater levels of success and happiness. Something had to change and I knew it was something within me.

I first thought that it was me. That there was something inherently wrong with me, that I could not change. That I was just the “type” of person that couldn’t do the necessary tasks to get what I wanted.  This mostly stemmed from, what I like to call my “introvert complex” and has been the root of much of my low self-esteem issues. To read more about this complex and to help resolve it, check out this previous post.

Through my healing experience, I realized it was simply my fears and limiting beliefs that were holding me back – NOT the inherent “me”. Plus, these things I thought were “stuck” in my makeup, were actually things that could be changed, or at the very least, be harnessed to my benefit (instead of hindering my progress).

Earlier this week, I had a re-occurring epiphany regarding this concept. I realized I was not digesting new positive information and beliefs because I haven’t yet cleared the “attic” so to speak.   So, what did I do? Well, I turned to one of my favourite techniques to help let go and “rewire” the brain and our energy system: EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique). This is also known as “tapping”. EFT is how I changed the beliefs above about not being the “right” type of person to get things I desired.

Steps in the Clearing Process

Here are the following steps to take if you would like to clear some of your limiting beliefs and implement new ones, so you can be empowered and ready for new potential in the spring!

  • First, write down at least 5 limiting beliefs around the issue you are struggling with. For instance, if you struggle with money; write down your limiting beliefs on this topic. Some examples might be; “Money doesn’t come easy”, “I am not worthy of financial success”, “Money ruins people/makes them mean.” Etc.
  • Next, I would group any reoccurring themes, especially if you wrote down more than 5. For example, you might have a lot of limiting beliefs that reflect your self-esteem (not worthy, not good enough, don’t have the “right” personality, etc.)
  • Once you have your main themes determined, start the tapping process! For a free complete guide, click here. There are also some free video resources on YouTube that you may find helpful.
  • On the setup statement, in the first “blank” (Even though, I [blank] ) take one theme at a time and describe in detail your beliefs/how you feel about them etc. Continue instructions has described.
  • After you have done enough rounds of tapping (your SUDS level is below 5- ideally 0 or close to it), start to implement new positive beliefs.
  • Write down any ah-ha moments, or new positive ideas that come up. I find they come naturally once the old belief is almost gone. If none do, simply write down what you DO want to believe: beliefs that you think will help you get your desired result. Taking the money example above,  you may want to believe “Money DOES come easy.” Because believing this will make it more likely for you to attract abundance in your life. 
  • For the tapping part of this step, a setup statement is not necessary, but as in the handbook mentioned above shows you, you can use it for maximum benefits. Otherwise, simply tap on the points using your new belief statements.
  • IMPORTANT: To help implement these new beliefs in your subconscious, include the “top of the head” tapping point to the sequence. This point particularly is good for the POSITIVE things you want to implement. You may find that other people use it when clearing the negative too, however, I personally don’t recommend it.

One of the major roadblocks that stops us from manifesting our desires and dreams, is our negatively conditioned minds. Utilize the energy of spring to learn 8 steps PLUS 5 bonus techniques to clear your limiting beliefs so, you can truly open the doors to new and beautiful possibilities!

Some More Clearing Ideas

If you do not resonate with the EFT technique mentioned, I have some other things you can do to help clear the way for new potential to grow. However, before I continue, I have found EFT to be the most helpful, especially when it comes to limiting beliefs.

This is because it works with your body’s energy system and subconscious to “clear” and reprogram these two vital components, for the best results.

Other Methods:

  • Actually Spring Cleaning

Simply cleaning out your house and getting rid of clutter can be healing for the energy of your house, and your mind. This is because every item actually holds on to certain energies. Perhaps the items you are carrying around hold a negative memory. Or, maybe the items are simply “in the way” and therefore still hold negative energy because they are not making your space and life any better.

Each item you have should fall under one of the following categories; has a purpose (i.e. making your life easier/more convenient such as a blender that you use to make healthy smoothies), is something you LOVE and therefore brings you joy every time you look at it/use it (i.e. a beautiful painting hanging on the wall) or is necessary (i.e. receipts needed to do your taxes).

Getting rid of all other items helps free your mind because it let’s go of any energy attached to the items, including any negative energy attached to memories, or thoughts of worry and/or irritation.

  • Meditation with Visualization

Meditation alone can certainly help calm and ease the worries of the mind. However, using a visualization that allows you to get rid of certain negative beliefs is even more beneficial.

Just like the tapping above, I would advise to write down 3-5 negative beliefs you would like to get rid of.  Then write down your intention for the meditation (for example: “To release any negative beliefs holding me back from [blank])”.  Next, put on some relaxing music or specific meditation music and use the following visualization:

First, see a bright white light wash over you. Imagine this light within your heart and let it expand to encompass your whole body. Next, imagine your thoughts as a shape. Also, imagine the colour, size, and texture. Then let the white light “wash it away” (as if it was scrubbing it away). Or, imagine the shape expanding until it bursts and see it dissipate into the white light. Finally, allow the white light to shine brighter and brighter and turn gold. Allow this gold energy to encircle your entire body and energy field. Allow it to protect you for the rest of the day.

  • Journaling with Purpose/Intention

Sometimes free-flow journaling, where you simply write what you are feeling without any editing, can lead to a release of these feelings and thoughts. If you really allow yourself to surrender to the process you can even begin to channel your higher self and have ah-ha moments. Sometimes new positive beliefs will naturally be presented.

However, for best results, write down the 3-5 negative beliefs you would like to let go of.  Then, write down your intention like you would for the meditation above. Finally, simply free-flow write your feelings around these beliefs to allow them to be released from your energy and subconscious.

If you really resonate with writing as a form of healing, check out my free 10-day course, introducing you to some of the best writing techniques for healing.

  • Artistic Expression with Purpose/Intention

Being creative can be incredibly healing. Also, it is usually lots of fun! You don’t have to be an “artist” by any means. Artistic expression is for everyone.  Get out your favourite artistic tools (paints, sketchpad, pencil crayons, pottery, play doe, etc.) and start the healing process.

First, I would still advise doing steps 1 and 2 mentioned in the above activities (writing down beliefs and setting your intention).  Next, simply start creating. Also, it would be best to do the art on something that can be destroyed. Even if it turns out looking beautiful, it will be more therapeutic if you are able to rip it up or burn it after.

This is because the point of this exercise is to let go of your negative beliefs. Even if they go from your mind to the paper, the energy of it still may be present. Going the next step and destroying it is saying to your subconscious that you no longer want this belief, even if it has felt comfortable to keep it.

  • Cognitive Behavioural Therapy/Counselling

CBT is a very practical type of counselling. It has a little more direction and purpose than just regular talk therapy. If you find a good therapist, you can transform your negative thought patterns and behaviours into something more positive and productive. For more information on CBT, I would recommend taking a look at this site. 

However, some of the downsides may be; the cost and, the length of time it can take to see results. From the article above, it even states that it can take 5-10 months to overcome most emotional problems. Although this is a short amount of time compared to some other methods of traditional therapy, it still is quite long.  So unless you really feel you need the support and/or are in great emotional distress it wouldn’t be my first choice.

As mentioned above, EFT (tapping) (which is also now recognized as an evidence-based therapy) has been more effective my experience. As stated before, it only took me 1 session to overcome multiple negative beliefs! You can too, simply, click here to download my free tapping guide!

Spring into the Next Chapter of your Desired Life

Spring is full of so many possibilities. Don’t let this very opportunistic time of year pass you by without doing a little “spring cleaning”, for your mind.  You will feel more vibrant and energized to take on the next chapter of your life and manifest your desires.

Another thing about spring is it carries a much lighter energy than winter. Allow this energy to motivate you and help you through any challenges. Remember to have some fun, go outside, dance, sing and allow yourself to be in the joy of spring. Let the birds singing ignite your spirit to move towards more positive experiences. I promise they won’t disappoint!

To take full advantage of this lighter and more positive energy, first, do the exercises mentioned above. This can truly prepare you and make the necessary ROOM for this new energy. Mother Earth, the Divine, the universe and cosmos is sure to support you in the best way possible if you are open to it  🙂

2 Comments

Making the Best of It: How to Feel Good Even When it’s Bad

November 6, 2017
Energy Therapy Personal Development

Learn easy and effective feel-good techniques even in a bad or negative situation. Stay positive and transform your life. Free healing guides available.Taking Control

My life has not always been kittens and rainbows, nor is it now. However, my ability to make it at least feel that way over and over after difficult times has gotten quite impressive.  It is very liberating to actually feel somewhat in control of your life. Not, in a dictatorship-type way, but in a way that says, “Yes, I can make a difference”. You can’t control people or situations but you CAN control yourself and how you positively influence people and situations.

Life seems to always throw some hard balls our way but, it is how we receive them is what really counts.   No matter what the situation is, you can always make the best of it. Even if you have to wait until the situation is over to make the “best of it”, then so it is.

Even during the most dreadful times- for instance, being abused in some way- we can at least take a lesson away from it. You may have to dig really deep but trust me- it’s there. For example, you may need to stick up for yourself to teach people how to treat you better.  That way people will be less likely to attack you. This might seem extremely difficult to do but keep in mind, that no matter what the situation is, it will be much worse in the future if you only take the negative.

The Self-Created Bad “Situation”

Often we feel like something is happening TO us. That the circumstances around us are making us feel bad. But sometimes the scariest place to be is when you feel really crappy and can’t pinpoint why. You can’t say to people “well, such and such just happened so that is why I am in a bad mood.”

When you don’t have an excuse, it can be even more dangerous if you don’t know how to deal with it. This is because you can get stuck in the “beating yourself up” loop: Where you feel bad, for feeling bad!

This could be happening for several reasons and one serious reason is being depressed. If you suspect this at all, I strongly advise you to seek the counsel of your choice. There is no shame in this. The people that care about you much rather see you seek help then go down a dangerous path of self-destruction. You matter and your life matters!!

The Reason You May Not Suspect

Although, some people may go straight to the “oh, there must be something physically wrong with me” stage and blame their bad moods on hormones, etc. I want you to hear me out for a minute or so.

I have another possibility that is rarely talked about. This is regarding the ability to take on negative energy. If you consider yourself an “empath” or HSP (highly sensitive person) you already will be aware of this. It is when “bad” things are happening around you and you take on the negative energy from it- you somehow make it your own. Or, this can happen when people that are carrying negative energy and unintentionally dump it on you.

As a possible empath, it may actually be in your destiny to use this ability to help heal others. However, if you are not being paid for a healing service, it is in no way, shape or form, your responsibility to deal with this negative energy.

So what can you do about it? Well, there are several things (some of which I discuss below) but one of my favourite and simple tools to deal with this specific type of negative energy is stating an affirmation. For example, something like the following: “I send this energy (that is not mine) back to its source, for the benefit of the highest good.”

To incorporate this in the most effective way first put your hand on your heart and take a few deep breathes and say this statement (silently and several times if needed) every time you feel like you are carrying a lot of “baggage” that isn’t yours.

The Dark Vacuum

I also want to reiterate the fact that by only focusing on the negative and letting the negative take over you, dark energy is created around you, and if only darkness is in your energy, it will be more difficult for the light energy to find you.

By making the best of it and trying to find something positive out of a situation, you are encouraging the light to be created and for more of it to be attracted to you and your energy field.  Over time, you will be more of a magnet for this positive and light energy, rather than the negative and heavy energy.

In times when it is difficult to find something positive, think of something that is very basic to be thankful for, like the fact you are still alive. Even just focusing on this and allowing the gratitude to grow, you will be able to open your heart to a loving energy which will encompass you instead.  Doing a short meditation by visioning what this positive energy would look like in detail (colour, texture, and temperature) will increase this positive impact even more.

Allowing the Light In

Some other ways that can help you make the best of it in bad situations would be to ask yourself the following questions and then appreciate the answers;

  • Could it be worse? This first question is to put things in perspective. For example, if your situation is not being a starving child in a war-ridden country with no parents (or something equally or much worse) then the answer should always be “YES, it could be worse”.
  • What can I learn from this? This question is to get you to reflect on how you can make it better next time or choose to not have a next time.  Also, this is so that you feel like you “get” something out of the circumstance.
  • What aspects of this situation are humorous? This can also change your perspective and help you learn to laugh at yourself or, understand how ridiculous other people can be and not take offense.
  • Can I make it better? Empower yourself by creating solutions. Instead of using up your energy on complaining about the situation; use this opportunity to create something of value.  If there really is nothing you can do, besides asking yourself these questions, then say the following: “Even though there is nothing I can personally do to change this situation right now, I lovingly accept myself and what IS. I will allow myself and others to be at peace, and by doing so, at the very least, I will not make the situation worse”. You may not realize but even doing this IS doing something to make it better! 
  • Am I still alive? This last question is usually for the extra difficult situation as I discussed earlier to help you reach for something that you can be grateful for.

Get Out of Resistance

You may notice that even before you review these questions you will have a lot of resistance come up. Meaning, your mind will start playing games with you, and tell you to not bother because your situation is so bad, there can’t possibly be good in it. This happens because our minds are hard-wired with many negative thinking habits that keep us stuck.

To get out of this resistance try the following steps:

  • Say “STOP” silently in your mind: Saying this will help stop the habitual mind chatter.
  • Redirect its focus: Take a deep breath and allow your mind calm. Focus on this breathe intently.
  • Remember these are just THOUGHTS: They are not the real They are your ego- wanting to keep you stuck so it can feel safe. But your real self, knows better: that it is safe to let go, and that it is actually MORE beneficial to change these negative thought patterns, then it is to leave them as is.
  • Help your mind create a new, more positive habit: Go through the first sequence of questions above.

Learn easy and effective feel-good techniques even in a bad or negative situation. Stay positive and transform your life. Free healing guides available.Ask For Help

If you are still having difficulty making the best of a situation by going through these steps, it could be mean they you need assistance through practices such as Energy Therapy. Energy Therapy can help release the energy around these thought patterns.  Also, it would help greatly in creating new, more positive habits, and therefore create better situations in the future. To see more information about my Energy Therapy and Coaching Services, please visit the “At Your Service” pages.

Bonus Tip: Always a Choice

A very crucial point in helping you to get a place where you are making the best out of every situation is by shifting your perspective. From believing that there is no way out of your “bad” situation to realizing you have the power to make the choice to improve it.

One of my favourite movies is “Dangerous Minds” which is about a teacher who inspires her teenage students, despite their lives being surrounded by negativity such as drugs, gangs, poverty, and violence. The quote that has most inspired me was when she told them, “There are no victims in this classroom.” Before she states this she is speaking with the students and trying to convince them that they have a choice to “get on that bus.”  To view the scene, click here.Or, better yet- watch the entire movie!

Stop Being A Victim

I believe the real point she is trying to make here, is that people always fall victim to their own lives by focusing on the negative and giving up hope. Even though it takes a lot of courage to make the “right” choice – it is very rewarding in the end. And unfortunately in order to get to this rewarding place we have to make these difficult choices.

Some people may disagree with me on what I think she is trying to say in this scene but it is something that has stuck with me for years.  Don’t get me wrong, having this philosophy and implementing it into your life is very different and can be a challenge.  But once you make this most important decision, you are choosing to be empowered. And from an empowered state, you can transform your life immensely.

For instance, if one of those students choose to “get on that bus” by working hard in school, getting good grades, then getting a scholarship to a college, then attending that college, then choosing to find a career that will fulfill them- they would then be able to live in a safe neighbourhood, support a family, travel or whatever their heart desires.  Sounds easy, right? Well, of course, it is much easier said than done but as I stated before it would be worth it.

Dissolving the Clouds

Sometimes when we are facing a challenge or multiple challenges our judgment can be clouded and we end up making the “wrong” choice or the one that is not best for us. One of the first steps in getting your mind and spirit into this clear place is practicing activities that will allow for healing. Once the gunk is removed from your psyche and energy field- the right choice will be clear as day.

As mentioned above the clarity questions can help with this. But also, certain tools, such as EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) can make a huge difference in getting you back on track. If you would like to learn how to do this for yourself, be sure to download my free gift, “The Ultimate Guide to Emotional Freedom” where you learn how to release any negative thought pattern, and rewire your brain to believe something more positive.

Or, another very helpful tool would be the “Express Energy Healing Guide” that implements EFT and Chakra healing which benefits the mind, body, and soul on all aspects. It works on each chakra to help you release the negative energy that fuels those unhelpful thought habits.

Be sure to comment below and let me know what your unique struggles are with “making the best of it”. I would also love to hear your thoughts and/or feedback on the exercises above!

0 Comments

Why Wishing is a Dangerous Practice and What to do Instead

May 8, 2017
Energy Therapy Personal Development Spirituality

Have you often wished for things to be different but the desired outcome has not come? Learn an alternative to wishing that WILL manifest your deisres!

Wishing is not Hoping

Ever since we were children, people have encouraged us to wish. For example, the phrase, “wishing upon a star,” has warped our minds into thinking wishing is the same as hoping, and vice versa. This my friend, is where most of the emotional and psychological danger happens.

I am all for going after your dreams and making the most of this precious life. I am even all for thinking positive about your life and the people in it. Most certainly, if we only think badly about situations and people, there really is no chance of it getting better.

However, what many don’t realize is that wishing (or what they may call “hoping”) can almost do just as much damage. Because in reality, it is actually a form of resistance. Let’s look at the actual synonyms for this word as an example: wanting, needing, desiring, coveting, requiring, craving, demanding, asking, etc. Nowhere on this list (provided by MS Word) is the option of hoping.

All of the words above indicate a sense of desperation. When there is a feeling of desperation present, you know resistance is right by its side.

Resistance—Your Worst Enemy

SO, what is resistance? Well, let’s take a look at its synonyms: conflict, confrontation, battle, struggle and the list goes on!

Resistance happens when we push against something instead of flowing with it. When we do NOT come from a place of acceptance and inspired action. But instead, come from a place of wanting, wishing, demanding, etc.

Here is a hypothetical scenario with two characters as an example. Person A, is a young child who is wishing that they will get lots of presents on their birthday. Persona B, is a mature adult who is hoping their birthday is a pleasant one, and is taking action to make this happen (i.e. ordering their own birthday cake, inviting people over they know who are reliable and giving these same people plenty of time to plan ahead).

Because the child, is only a child, they can’t really do much else but “wish.” But, as you become an adult, you can let go of the wishing and embrace the many different positive possibilities. You can take life into your own hands and create a great day.

And even if for some reason things don’t go as planned, you can choose to still have a good day. You can hope, but not get so attached that you ruin your day by being stuck in disappointment and resisting what IS. You can surrender to other possibilities.

For example, when no one shows up for your birthday and the amazing cake you ordered fell out of the car, you can choose to wallow in self-pity all day. OR, you can choose to do something like this: go to the dollar store, get some decorations, buy a cheap cake substitute (and know you don’t have to share *wink*), come home, sing yourself Happy Birthday, turn on some tunes and create your own dance party, eat cake for dinner, and watch some of your favourite movies without having any interruptions!

In the latter scenario, you are taking life into your own hands and choosing to have a good day, despite the present circumstances. You are choosing to be your own hero, instead of a victim!

One saying that does continue to be helpful is, “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” This is what people are actually talking about when they say this. Use your divine intelligence and love to transform every moment into an opportunity.

A Way to Make Lemonade

I am not saying that you do not have a right to your feelings and shouldn’t be disappointed. Of course, you can have your initial feelings, but don’t let yourself get stuck there! Here are some methods that I used recently to help me through a difficult situation:

  1. Called a person I trusted to discuss my feelings and be open to a different perspective.
  2. Meditated. As always, Oprah and Deepak had perfect timing when they recently launched another free 21-day meditation challenge. And guess what? This time it was on HOPE. Be sure to check out their latest here.
  3. Used EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) which is also known as “Tapping.” This allowed me to move past my anger and hurt and look for solutions. If you want a free guide on this method, be sure to check out this page.
  4. Wrote my heart out. First with raw feelings, allowing everything to come out with no judgement. Then, after an epiphany—this article! If you would like to learn more on how writing can help you heal and be happier, check out my free e-course here.

Have you often wished for things to be different but the desired outcome has not come? Learn an alternative to wishing that WILL manifest your deisres!

Another Danger of Wishing

As mentioned above, resistance is the main danger of wishing. However, there is another consequence I would like to discuss, that often has rippling effects of destruction.

Wishing, because it first occurs when we are a child, it can put us back at a place of being immature, naïve and more vulnerable emotionally. Even though children are great at getting what they want, usually it is at an expense of a power struggle and manipulation.

As parents, we know that sometimes, what may seem unfair is actually for the best. It is the parents’ job to set clear boundaries, so children grow up with integrity.

Even as adults, if we are aware, we can quickly identify who was spoiled, or who had more enlightened parents. For example, the person who lies and manipulates to get their way versus the kind and honest person that naturally gets what they want because they simply asked nicely. And even after not getting what they want, instead of holding a grudge or stomping their feet, they make lemonade.

Getting trapped in the mindset of your inner-child is not a healthy place to be. It can have consequences on all of your relationships. However, for healing it is necessary to have awareness of this and work through it privately. In the free writing course mentioned above, I walk you through this process, so you can start making more conscious and mature decisions, which inevitably will help you get what you want/need more often.

From Wishing to Hoping

Let’s get back to discussing the actual process of wishing. I don’t know about you but when I picture someone wishing, they are on their knees in a pleading position. However, when I think of the true meaning of hoping I see someone walking towards the light at the end of the tunnel.

Two things to take note about the hope image above are:

1) The person may be in darkness but they know there is light eventually.

2) They are taking action (walking) towards their desired result. They are taking responsibility and not expecting someone else to fix it for them.

The next time you are in a situation where you “wish” for it to be different, think of this image and what it symbolizes. Tell yourself the following, “I can choose to see light in this situation or at least see the light at the end, that is coming soon. Here, I will find peace. I also choose to listen to my higher self/spirit for guidance on what the next inspired action is. Then, I will listen and follow through.”

Coming from this place will give you the BEST chance of turning around a situation AND the best chance of it happening quickly!

Wishing is a desperation out of the ego. Usually our wishes are shallow, and are often unfulfilled. However, our true hopes and dreams are deep, come from a higher place, and are aligned with the universe. Therefore, are more likely to be manifested, when purposeful action is taken.

So, wish all you want, but you will not attain your most meaningful desires, until it is transformed into HOPE.

Besides the suggested tasks already mentioned, I encourage you to do the following, so you can start to have awareness if you are in a place of “wishing” or “hoping”. Make a WISH list and a HOPE list—then compare the two! You will start to see the difference and even delete many of your wishes, as you know they will naturally come forth once your hopes are realized. Or, better yet, you may realize that you don’t need to wish for these things at all, because your life can be gloriously fulfilling without them!

Be sure to share your results, in the comments below—I would love to hear thoughts! Also, if you are looking for more intuitive tools to help you achieve your deepest hopes and dreams, be sure to sign up to the newsletter. Or, if you opt-in for one of the free tools mentioned above, you will automatically be signed up to the newsletter. And of course, you have the choice to “opt-out” at any time, here or anywhere!

 

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

0 Comments

An Unexpected Reason for Your Low Self-Esteem

April 10, 2017
Energy Therapy

Low self-esteem? Feel misunderstood? Discover why being introverted in an "outgoing" society could be your source of pain and how to deal with it!

Although this post contains affiliate links, all opinions are my own.  Please see the Disclaimer page for more information.

The Struggle

Basically, most of my life I have suffered from low self-esteem. Today it is much better but there still are bad days where I think I am scum of the earth. In fact, I think even the most confident people can have these “bad” days.  

There were many reasons I could say why I had/have low self-esteem, such as; having been teased a lot for having red hair, being a younger sibling to 4 older ones, my weight at times, not being popular in school, living below the poverty line many moments in my life, etc. However, the level of pain due to this low self-esteem did not seem justified from these external factors. 

Most people probably believe that others, or they themselves, have low self-esteem because of external attributes. This could include things such as weight, social class, race, their unique interests, etc. All of these things can be seen from the outside. But what if there is another type of prejudice that plagues others but, is rarely talked about?  

The Secret Prejudice

These are internal prejudices. Meaning, they may be able to be recognized from the outside (from the way one talks, dresses etc.) but more often it is not obviously seen. It is an aspect of one’s personality. This is why it goes deeper and can be more painful than external factors that are sometimes changeable and often not really “personal”. When someone claims they don’t like you because of your race, yes it is painful because you can’t change that either but, you can just chalk it up to them being ignorant and perhaps let it go easier. However, when someone claims to not like you, because of, well, who you actually are, it cuts even deeper.  

The time where I finally figured out the main reason for my low self-esteem was a liberating one. I just had a baby a few months before, so I had a lot of time where I couldn’t do much but read. This was a blessing because the last thing I wanted to pass down to my baby girl was my low self-esteem!  

This ah-ha moment regarding my self-esteem was also great timing because I was going through some mild postpartum depression and could certainly use a confidence boost. I say mild because I was not treated for it nor did I receive professional help, and I am still alive, but it was not “mild” by any means. 

The Source of My Ah-Ha Moment

The book was Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, by Susan Cain. I highly recommend this book if you identify with being an introvert or want to understand someone in your life better who can be described as being so.  In the book, Cain frequently discusses our first class societies and how extroverted people are more favored.

This is not hard to see when you are looking for jobs and the most common attributes used are words like; energetic, friendly, outgoing, etc. Or, when you look at the type of people in our society that are idolized (actors, musicians, etc.). Even if these celebrities claim to be introverts by nature, they certainly don’t appear that way to the everyday person. 

Low self-esteem? Feel misunderstood? Discover why being introverted in an "outgoing" society could be your source of pain and how to deal with it!

You are Needed, Wanted and of VALUE

If you can relate to this and have felt the underlying prejudice and felt pressured to become someone you are not, I am here to tell you to not cave. You ARE good enough. In fact, you have amazing gifts to give to the world. After all, where would all the talkers be if there were no listeners? This world is all about balance when it comes to keeping the peace, there is no balance if we are all trying to be like someone else.  

Be proud of who you are, find a way of expressing it that you are comfortable with, and do NOT apologize for it.  

Have you felt this underlying prejudice in our society? If so, in what way? Please comment below. Or, if you would like further help releasing your low self-esteem, sign up for the newsletter today! I have plenty of goodies to share that can assist in your seeking journey.

2 Comments

What IS Energy Therapy and Is It For You? A Short Quiz

February 16, 2017
Energy Therapy

Ever wonder what Energy Therapy is? Popular techniques such as; Reiki, EFT (aka Tapping), and ZPoint? Here is a quiz to see if it is right for you.

What IT Is

If you have been reading some of my other posts, you may be wondering what the heck this energy and energy therapy stuff is. Although, I have a long explanation on my other site, which can be found by clicking here, I would like to give you a short synopsis before we determine if it right for you.

I am sure most of you know what energy is—at least in a vague sense, such as electrical generated energy, radio waves, etc. However, when I speak of energy, I am speaking about the life-force energy— the energy that drives literally all life and everything, including all of our technology. Without this energy, everything would be, well, “dead” for lack of a better word.

Energy Therapy then, is the science and methods on how to manage this energy so it can work for your best healing. Healing of what exactly? Well, since it is in literally everything, it is for the healing of ANYTHING. There are however, certain techniques that seem to work better than others for different things.

Also, don’t get me wrong but I am not claiming Energy Therapy can cure every physical, mental, and emotional ailment. But, it CAN help prevent every one of these. Which is pretty amazing, right? Also, depending on the severity of the issue and how willing or open the client is to healing, it can definitely heal the problem, at least to a certain extent.

Your body, which runs on this energy, is an incredible, healing, and genius of a being. It simply heals itself ALL the time. Sometimes without you even knowing it! Energy Therapy helps this intelligence become even smarter and super charges its healing capabilities.Ever wonder what Energy Therapy is? Popular techniques such as; Reiki, EFT (aka Tapping), ZPoint? Here is a quiz to see if it is right for you.

QUIZ: Is Energy Therapy For You?

  1. Are you a human being?
  2. Are you alive?
  3. Do you feel like you have a “problem” emotionally, mentally or physically that you would like to treat, improve, let go of?

If you answered YES to all of these, then of course Energy Therapy is for you—it is for anyone that wants to improve their life on any level!

I know these questions seem silly and simple, but I did say short quiz right…? My point is, is that from my level of experience working with Energy Therapy, it seems silly that people would even question its capabilities in this day in age where we encounter miracles using energy every day, (ie. the device you are using to read this). So, instead of talking about chakras and “woo- woo” things that may have you run away, I decided to put it into a real-life perspective.

I hope that you understand Energy Therapy a bit better now, and know it is not some “out there” methods that only weird spiritual people do, but that it is a practical tool that can help anyone with any type of problem. We were given these amazingly intelligent bodies for a reason—let’s bring it to its optimal performance and watch even more miracles happen (and this time maybe more of the ones that elicit love and unity instead of hate and destruction? Just saying…).

How do you feel energy has worked for you already in your life? Make a comment and let me know- would love to hear your thoughts! Or, sign up to the newsletter if you would like to know more about Energy Therapy and how it can help you live more fully (specific techniques are shared!).

2 Comments