Personal Development

And it begins… 

OMG, why is my husband so annoying?! Why is my kid so annoying? Why is the lady at the pool so annoying? Oh wait… maybe it’s not them that’s the problem. Crap. Here I go again…. 

One of the challenges of being a “sensi” is that because we are sensitive to our own emotions and others, things can often overwhelm us. This can also mean that on our bad days we can turn into a hot head due to an overload of irritating triggers – or, a basket-case, due to saddening triggers.  

One of my main struggles is taking things personally and needing things to be a certain way to help my anxiety and to feel safe. But I have learned that these are MY problems, not others’. People are doing the best they can, at their level of awareness. They can’t read your mind, or have the capability of knowing or even fulfilling your every need when you need them to. It’s a bummer, I know, but, we got to get it right for ourselves so we don’t cause our emotional storm to surge and drag others with us. 

The 3 Methods

So, you are probably wondering, “How the heck do we do that?” when our emotions are so strong and we feel they are so real? Well, there are actually many ways, but here are the 3 I used today, to get back to my happy place: 

1. Breathed and breathed some more. I know, obvious right? I am sure you have heard this one but it is sooo true! However, this morning during my flustered and tired state I kicked it up a notch with yoga. Yoga is so awesome because it helps the mind focus on something other than your crazy thoughts. You can focus on your breath, a chant or how good that stretch feels! And you don’t have to be a “yogi” or an athletic person- you can benefit no matter who you are.
2. Went beyond my comfort zone and had some water fun with my 1 year old. I know not everyone believes in astrology and quite frankly, not sure if I do either, ha! But, my daughter and I are water signs and being in water seems to help get our Zen back. Not to mention, doing something lighthearted and fun always allows a release of negative tension. Point is, get in touch with the elements (preferably outdoors) and have some fun!
3. Got it all down on paper and became aware that these are just thoughts! Not me! After the above activities I didn’t feel burdened with emotions anymore BUT, my mind was still trying to suck me into a negative thought pattern. So, my cure for this was to write about it!  Remember, your true self is the awareness of your thoughts, not the thoughts themselves! Once you can detach from them, your ego lets go of its tight grip, because it is not identifying with the thoughts or issue anymore. This activity also helps when I go into “beating myself up” mode for the not-so-nice things I did or said in the heat of the moment. It allows for me to forgive myself quicker, release the negative charges, learn from my mistakes and be a more positive person the next time (and lessen “next times”).

But what if I don’t have time for these long-ish methods? 

OK, I get that you may have a hectic schedule and therefore, don’t have the time to pause and do these tasks to get your emotions under control. However, you DO have the time. Even if you do a short version of these throughout the day it will help greatly. For instance, at work, use your breaks or bathroom breaks to really take those slow deep breaths. Or, go for a short walk on your lunch, or stand outside for a couple minutes and look up to the sky. To lighten up, draw a funny cartoon about the situation, or play some cards on your break: whatever you fancy that helps you feel like a fun-loving kid again. For the 3rd method, even if you can only find a crayon and a napkin, write down those feelings: point form if you have to! 

You Matter and…. 

Your emotional well-being matters! Not only for yourself, but for the people you love, don’t love and don’t even know! It is essential that you make it priority when you are seeking to live a more fulfilling and joyful life. 

If these methods don’t seem to be working for you, I have plenty more up my sleeve that will. Be sure to sign up to our newsletter for effective strategies to control, release and be free of those emotions! Also, feel free to let me know how you deal with emotional overload, in the comments below or shoot me an e-mail at sarah@riseaboveliving.com. 

Identity IS Ruining the World

Ruining? I know, dramatic right? While I do apologize for the dramatics, I still think that once you read through this post, and do some self-reflection, you will probably agree with me.

If you look at all of the conflict in the world—everything from marital disputes to wars—everyone is fighting from a position that is “us” vs “them.”  So how do we even conceptualize “us” and “them”? Well, with identity markers, such as; sex, race, religion, and social status. These identity markers create walls of division between us. Letting go of these walls that we put up by creating identity markers, could literally stop the fighting. This is because once these labels are deconstructed, there would only be “us” human beings, making up a global community. We would be more motivated to work together and make a better world for everyone. Believe it or not, you don’t have to suffer so that someone else can be happy, or vice versa.

So that, in a nutshell is how it is ruining the world, but let’s look at how it is ruining your personal life. 

Identity IS Ruining Your Life

Identity is an attachment to a concept, which you then internalize to be “you.” This internalization is where the danger happens—it unites and becomes part of your ego.  I am not saying to throw out all of your “labels” because for certain circumstances, it may assist in creating healthy boundaries or establishing guidelines, (for example, teacher and student).

However, if you internalize and become attached to being a “student,” eventually having to leave school may result in a breakdown, such as an “identity crisis”. The idea of leaving school may make you so terrified that you may keep going back to school where you remain comfortable in your identity as a “student.” This could lead to lots of debt, getting behind in a possible career, living with your parents for a little too long, (which could damper your social or romantic life), and many other life altering consequences.

Alternatively, if you could say something to yourself like: “I am NOT just a student. I am a beautiful soul and have many amazing opportunities waiting for me.”  This alone will allow you to break through your own walls, claim the real you, and go forth seeking those amazing opportunities.

If you are getting offended by any of the comments that I have made, well, it proves my point that you are too identified with your labels. Ego is based upon your identities, and to live a more joyful and boundless life, your ego has to move aside. Even if you could detach from the labels just for a little while and see the real, gorgeous you, then you would get a glimpse of the freedom and self-confidence that is possible when letting go of your identities. 

You cannot be offended if someone calls you fat, ugly, black, white, etc., if you do not identify with it. Don’t believe me? Well, just imagine someone calling you a racial slur of a different race you don’t identify with. That doesn’t make you upset right? That is because you don’t identify with it. In fact, you can use the words that actually offend you as clues to which identities you may need to let go of. 

An Exercise for Letting Go

Identity is such a huge thing in pretty much every culture. So much of our lives in based on our identities. Therefore, I realize how difficult it may be to read these concepts, never mind put them into practice. However, let’s go through a more in-depth exercise to help demonstrate the freedom that can come with giving up your identity:

• Please close your eyes and take a few deep breaths.
• Imagine yourself in front of you, with all your identities attached to you. For example, if you are an American Hispanic female college student, you may see yourself wearing college apparel, holding some books, have your hair done that is related to your ethnic roots, holding an American flag and maybe another flag that represents your ethnicity. (Can you already see you are putting yourself into a “box” and even stereotyping yourself?)
• Now, imagine “stripping” away all those identity markers (don’t worry I am not saying imagine yourself naked, because those could still bring up “identity factors”). However, do completely erase what you see. You may be left with nothing at first or just an outline of something—that is ok.
• So…what are you left with? Take few moments and see what really shows up. Draw or describe on paper if you can. This is who you really are.

Break Free

Isn’t it incredibly freeing to not be tied down to all your identities? Could you imagine living your life every day with this freedom? How confident yet humble you would be? How fearless, yet loving? I believe this is how we are all meant to be. Actually, not “meant” to be, because deep down this is who we really are. But it is about stripping away the identities and being brave enough to uncover our true self and then be even braver and express it to the world.

What are your identities that you feel are holding you back? Is there a label you are offended by that you would like to let go of? Please comment below, I would love to hear your thoughts! Or, sign up to our newsletter for more insights, tips and exercises to allow your full potential to come forth.

Although this post contains affiliate links, all opinions are my own.  Please see the Disclaimer page for more information.

What They DO Tell You

The other day, I was tuning into a Personal Development webinar that had many “Law of Attraction” speakers featured. Confession: I have attended at least a dozen of these webinars—at one point, I’m pretty sure I was addicted. Normally, I would get super excited and be ready to jot down a hundred notes; however, I found myself tuning out and working on this site instead.

Don’t get me wrong, there were amazing speakers that had great advice, but I just was not getting out of it what I used to. I was finally at a different place where I didn’t need their advice. I still liked it, even though I have heard the same things many times before. In fact, it is always good to repeat great advice. They say this is so your brain keeps those positive re-programs in-check. The main purpose of listening to these webinars, podcasts, etc, is to get rid of your negative belief systems that are keeping you stuck, and implement positive ones.

Some of the most common techniques to help implement these positive beliefs, that Law of Attraction experts often discuss, are things like; affirmations, dream boards and envisioning exercises. These help create the necessary vibration and mindset in order to attract what you want in life. If you would like to know more about these exercises, please click here to read my post, “The Top 10 Law of Attraction Techniques for a Better Life.”

Because I know repetition of these techniques helps implement positive vibes, I thought, “Maybe the re-programming finally took! And that is why I don’t feel the need to listen any more.” And then I thought, “But how? What had I done differently?”

It could have been the dozens of times I heard the same positive material but then, wouldn’t I have only felt satisfied after the program? When it would have finally “took”? But right away I didn’t feel the need to listen.

So I took an inventory of my life over the last 6 months, and I DID do something differently. While it did involve repetition, it was so much more than that.

What They DON’T Tell You

Some may talk about writing down a commitment to yourself and making sure you look at your dream board, and/or do other positive tasks every day; however, they don’t tell you exactly how many times or what you should do before even trying these tasks.

Yes, I said BEFORE. There is something deep within you that has to shift and lift before these tasks will even help. Many times before I had tried doing the daily tasks for even months and nothing really changed. That is why many people may not believe in the Law of Attraction. But the funny thing (or not-so-funny thing), is that there is something HUGE they may be missing.

This thing that they are missing is HEALING. I say this because if you are already a happy person, with a healthy upbringing and not many bad things have happened to you—first of all, I want to say congratulations because you are a rarity—then this stuff WILL WORK.  Right away even, not months or years!

See, the thing about energy and your vibration is the older you get, the harder it can be to change, because your emotional, mental and physical conditioning is so well wired. This is why people say that old people are stuck in their ways. It is actually true for a lot them. I am not saying they can’t change their life for the better using these techniques, but depending on their willingness, it may be very difficult. Usually the energy it takes to change is simply not worth it for them; they are OK with where they are at. Even younger people often have to hit rock bottom before they make changes, so it is no wonder the older generations have a tough time.

OK, so back to the thing you have to do before implementing the law of attraction techniques. You have to make a commitment to HEAL. Every day you have to work on yourself. You have to use tools that will help you release negative emotions, let go of negative energy, and therefore free up space in your energy field to introduce these techniques. And, you can’t simply go to a counselling session once in a while or get a Reiki treatment once a year; you have to make a commitment every day!

How To Do It

In the last 6 months, I made this serious commitment to myself to do this. Every morning I meditate, even if it is only for 5 minutes. I also do a tuning exercise to help get my chakras healed and balanced using tuning forks such as these.  Additionally, I do some yoga to release negative energy and kick-start my body for optimal performance. For a while, I also did extra healing work (such as inner child work), almost every day. I was also looking at my dream board, doing a gratitude exercise and I tried to listen to an inspiring talk almost every day. My favourites right now are Sadhguru and Oprah’s Super Soul TV sessions and interviews.

All of this does take some time (anywhere from half hour to 2 hours). It may even be an all-day process if you have children that pause these activities, but it is sooo worth it! After a certain point, you can take what you feel is most valuable and narrow it down to a half-hour a day process (once the major areas of healing are almost complete). Although keep in mind, you may need to have intervention days where you go back to pure healing again.

As you may have noticed, I have taken some of these healing techniques and combined them with the law of attraction techniques. What can I say? I have a one-year-old, so I have to be efficient (or at least try! Ha!). In this busy world, you may have to do the same as well. Although looking back before I was able to make this commitment, I did a lot of crying, writing, etc. So, some serious pure healing happening did take place. Depending on the situation, you may need to do this as well, especially if you feel like you have hit rock bottom emotionally or otherwise. Just keep throwing in those positive techniques though because sometimes when we are healing we get sucked back into the negative energy.

Give yourself some much-needed breaks, such as; bubble baths, naps, watching an inspiring or funny movie, or hang out with some positive people. You want to still try to keep your spirits up in between healing because it is A LOT of work. I don’t want to lie and say it’s fun or something; I mean, more people would be doing it if it were, right? It takes a lot of energy, support of loved ones, and your attention to self-care. Drink lots of water, eat well, and take those breaks!

Once you get over the hill, I promise you will feel 100% better. You will feel lighter, have more energy and be motivated to take positive action. Finally, those Law of Attraction techniques will make sense and start working in your life. You will be on your glorious way.

If you would like more information about healing tools, Law of Attraction and other techniques to help create a better life for yourself, please subscribe to the newsletter. You deserve healing and you deserve happiness!

What do you find is missing from the Law of Attraction teachings? Please comment below, I would love to hear your thoughts!

Although this post contains affiliate links, all opinions are my own.  Please see the Disclaimer page for more information.

A Prelude

If you haven’t read the first 5 techniques of this series, I would strongly suggest you do so, here. I find  most of these techniques work best when combined. Many of them play off of one another, and sometimes you may not be able to execute one of them without their complimentary technique.

Law of Attraction may seem like a no-brainer when you first learn about it, but because we as humans can be very complex, the process in making it work for our best interest can be too. Another thing to keep in mind is that there are also many other laws of the universe that are at play. All parts of life are connected. Even if you try to make one aspect perfect, you are not guaranteed happiness. You need to consider all aspects, and therefore all laws as well. In future articles, I will be discussing these laws in more detail. I hope that this article will be helpful in bringing forth your best self, and therefore naturally tuning your life into something wonderful.

Let us continue our discussion on some super helpful Law of Attraction techniques, learned from the best:

The Techniques Continued

6.  Affirmations

If you are unfamiliar with this technique, it consists of positive written phrases that you read repeatedly every day. They are meant to inspire, energize and help re-frame your negative beliefs. Some people have had great luck with these but others like myself, (in the beginning of my journey), have not. The reason these may not take is because our negative beliefs may be so deep rooted that our subconscious cannot believe these positive things, and therefore it rejects them. A simple trick for affirmations related to yourself, is to phrase them like this: “On my best days and moments… I am beautiful.”  You can also rephrase the “I am beautiful” part to “I feel beautiful.” This is a subtle difference, but often when we don’t believe we are pretty, wealthy, or awesome on our best days (at the very least) we feel we are in certain moments.

7. Surround Yourself with Positive People and Environments

Have you ever heard the idea that smiles are contagious? Well, this technique is like that, but on steroids. There has been many studies done around this, and one of the interesting facts is that your income is reflective of the 5 people you surround yourself with. Now, money is not everything and I am not saying dump your best friend because they are poor. But, be aware of how they talk about money, themselves, and you. You may find out they aren’t so pleasant after all. Or, they are awesome to be around, just their own dream life hasn’t quite manifested yet.

In any case, it’s always best to lead by example, but if all of your friends are struggling with money, gossip a lot, and are always complaining well, I am sorry to say but it is time to make new friends. If you want to live a more abundant and joyous life, unfortunately there are some sacrifices you have to make. You may think you will regret it, but I can assure you, you won’t. As it turns out, not just smiles are contagious but positive attitudes, beliefs, and lifestyles are too!

8. Being Conscious

This is a BIGGY. I cannot stress enough the importance of being conscious! Although Law of Attraction experts may not say this directly, you may notice it is common thread in all the techniques. You have to be aware in order to change your thoughts, attitudes and beliefs. You have to be aware of all the amazing things around you to be gracious. You have to be aware of your dreams and goals in order to achieve them. Getting clear and aware of yourself and what you want is invaluable. But being conscious takes practice! Seriously, it can be really tough at first, and even tiring as you feel like you are always auto-correcting. But no worries, because it gets easier and eventually second nature. Or, not as needed because your positive habits now have taken place so there is no “correction” needed. One of the most helpful books I have found for practicing this technique is Eckhart Tolle’s The Power of Now

9. Meditation

OK, so I can’t talk about being conscious without talking about the big M. Even if you don’t do it, you at least know in general what it is, right….? In case, it is not clear, seriously, just go google it because it is super simple, (and super complicated, depending on who you talk to). I personally like to KISS (keep it simple stupid) by doing the following; sit upright, close your eyes, deep breath, and concentrate on this breath—be in your body, fully in the moment. Be still and quiet with relaxing music or sounds, or nothing at all.

This process helps you many ways, but mostly it helps you start practicing to be conscious. Which as mentioned above, will enhance all the other techniques. For example,  you can amp up the other techniques by turning them into a mediation, such as the envisioning exercise. Or, you can get really fancy and get special meditation music such as Pure Binarual Beats, which will get those brainwaves where you want them to be, for optimal and possibly quicker results.

10. Inspired Action

This one is always tied to being conscious because to take action that inspires you, you have to be aware of, well, what inspires you! Taking action is absolutely necessary for any change to happen in your life, especially big things. However, if you take mindless action you will end up going around in circles and not get very far. To take inspired action is to take action with positive intention and do the tasks that excite you or that you feel intuitively is correct. Even if logic tells you otherwise (to an extent) this is always the best path to take. Because you are then living with integrity and purpose and therefore you will be happier, on many levels. And don’t worry because when you live in line with your spirit, the universe will support it in many amazing ways.

The Journey is Just Beginning

I could probably write for days and days about Law of Attraction because there are so many helpful tools and techniques out there to live a great life. Also, each technique is multi-faceted, so there is always more to learn. For now, please enjoy what I feel are the most important and supported techniques. As well as the most helpful tidbits for each one. However, I don’t want to leave you here. I believe there is something inherently missing from the Law of Attraction world and I would like for you to read about it here.

In that post, you can find more pieces of advice that will enhance these techniques even further. As well as some necessary knowledge to get these tools to actually work.

Also, be sure to comment below on what technique you find most helpful, or anything else you feel the need to share. I look forward to hearing from you! One more thing: our newsletter has tons of great resources that can help you perfect these techniques, as well as other tools that can help you on your seeking journey!

What is Law of Attraction?

I am sure many of you already know what Law of Attraction is, since it has pretty much taken over the internet in the last decade (or so it seems). But, just in case you don’t, here is a short explanation:

The universe has many “laws” that all things abide to. For example, the law of gravity, or karma (what you put out, you get back), which many people view as a law. The Law of Attraction compliments the karmic law, as it says that you attract in your life, things that are in your vibration. Your vibration is your energetic field. Many things create this, such as your thoughts, behaviours, what you eat, etc.  You can even hold other people’s energy in your field as well.

In a nutshell, Law of Attraction says that you need to have your vibration positive and high if you want the finer things in life, which can include everything from a nice house to a loving marriage. Or, it could just simply be whatever you uniquely desire. How we get our energy high and positive, is what these techniques help you to achieve.

The Techniques

1. Gratitude

No one can deny the power of gratitude. It really does have amazing results in shifting your mood and energy. Everyone can find at least 5 things a day to be grateful for. Even if it is simple things like being glad the sun is out today, or that you have indoor plumbing. From my experience, the best way to execute this technique is writing down 5 things every day in a format such as, “I’m so happy and thankful that…” If you are having trouble with this, just think—you are reading this on some sort of technology, which likely means you are not located on some barren land with no food and shelter, in the middle of war. Most of us are complaining about 1^st world problems, and really we should be in ecstasy with the amount of privilege and convenience we DO have.

2. Dream BIG/Dream Board

Honestly, this one is so common, I think they are starting to make jokes about it on sitcoms. But on a serious note, it IS valuable. As Richard Branson and many that followed him said, “If your dreams don’t scare you, they’re too small.” Meaning, you need to dream about things that scare you in a positive way. Dreams that excite you so much, you are willing to push through in order to reach them. Because in the end, if we think about what we will regret at the end of our lives, it will mostly be of things we DIDN’T do. So really, what do you have to lose by at least trying? The dream board is way of having a visual reminder of your goals and aspirations. The idea is that you put on a poster board (or something similar), pictures that represent what you want in your life. These pictures can be of a happy and healthy family, a new car, vacations, business goals, etc. They can even include images of words and quotes. The exact pictures aren’t that important—the point is that it creates the feelings that you want such as; fun, joy, peace, success, etc.

3. Envisioning

This one goes hand-in-hand with the previous one, as well as the next one I will discuss. It is a focused day-dreaming exercise. Often, you are told to close your eyes or look at your dream board while doing this. Besides just imagining you are living your life dream, you have to put more effort into these day dreams. Many say to imagine with ALL of your senses, as if it happening to you right now in the present. Ask yourself, “How does it feel, touch, taste, smell, and look?” It is also great to do this before bed or right as you wake up, so it really seeps into your subconscious.

4. Writing Goals and Visions

Sometimes just envisioning something can be difficult as our minds like to wander. However, fine-tuning these visions by writing them out, helps us determine what we really want. It is best not to be too specific and not too general either. Often what will show up may not be exactly what we wanted, but it will be the same feelings and experiences. It may even end up being better than we imagined! Also, another tip suggested for this exercise is to write it in present tense, as if it has already happened or is happening now. The idea is that our subconscious does not know the difference between the past or present. So, if you combine it with your envisioning exercise, it will think it IS happening. Therefore, any beliefs of you thinking it CAN’T happen, will be lessened much more. It is tricking your brain into thinking it already did happen so it thinks, “Of course it can happen again!” You can even use this trick with your gratitude list—simply write things that haven’t happened yet. For example: “I am so grateful and happy that I now have a fulfilling career that provides me with financial freedom.”

5. Intend and Then Surrend(er)

Practicing the envisioning exercises, comes with intention. Meaning, you intend to have these things happen and have them happen positively. Even before writing them out, make your intentions clear. Be mindful of what you want to get out of the exercise. Finally, know what achieving these goals will mean to your life and  those around you. There is no point in achieving these things if you intend to do so “no matter what,” as this could mean hurting others or even yourself in the process. While you are looking to achieve your dream life, it is important that you do so with integrity and honor. This why it is also important to have these visions include something that is about giving back in some way. After all, we all count in what we do. Even if it is being an honest worker, that is still a noble intention and counts towards contributing to your community, society, and even the world.

Now that clear and moral intentions are set and your dreams are big and beautiful, it is time to let go. Let go of the need to control every detail on how it you think it should happen. There really is a higher/divine hand in your life and everywhere. Let it work for you as well. Also, surrender the idea that “it has to happen, or I will die and life will suck.” What some people don’t understand is that what we really want in our “dream” lives are things like happiness, health, love, freedom, etc. The way this manifests is the “things” we are after and what we put pictures up of.  But the end goal is not the “things” that are sought after, but the positive feelings and emotion they bring.

Stay Tuned…

Because this is a lot to digest, and you may want to get going on putting these into practice, I have continued the Law of Attraction techniques on another post. You can find the information here. Otherwise, I’d love to hear your thoughts on the first 5. Have you tried any of them? How are they working for you? Is there anything you would like me to add? Also, for more tips and techniques like these, feel free subscribe to our newsletter!